Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I'm Alive
So...the past few weeks...have torn me to pieces it feels like.
I feel like every decision I make is a bad one. I feel like my life is all over the place.
All I seem to do is work anymore...and I need to stop that! Everything's just been crazy.
I moved out. Regretting that big time. See? I make these spur of the moment decisions about things. I need to chill out and just let them simmer in my head for awhile. I'm working on that.
Dustin has made me feel a GAZILLION times better about stuff tho. We talked about us and where all that's going and I was really happy with the outcome. I mean, he pointed out some things that I need to do for myself...and I really do. I need to get out more, meet new people, do more things. I want to be able to have something to do all the time...I feel like all of my free time is spent working...because I don't really know what else to do with myself. That sounds really sad and pathetic but it's kinda true.
The talk that we had really helped me with a lot. I've just felt so lost for awhile now because I had no idea what was going on in his head, especially since we haven't really spent a lot of time together lately. I'm just really happy that we sorted stuff out and I'm soo happy that he really made it clear that he wants to be with me. Our relationship is so easy, and there's not really ever any drama. "If it ain't easy, get the fuck out!" :P
I just would really love to do more things with him. It seems all we ever do is hang out in the PM and watch movies. Not that there's anything wrong with that, <3 watching movies with Dustin, but I want to explore and go on adventures with him! Ok so maybe that sounded a lil queer but it's true! We always tell each other about what we did during the day but we never do any of that stuff together and it makes me a lil =[
I'm just really happy that we have maintained such a relationship for so long. I mean, a lot of crazy stuff has gone down in the past 6 months but I can honestly say that I am just as crazy about this kid as I was the day we first really hung out. Movie and just talking til 5AM...I stood no chance ;]
God I feel so much better just after this blog.
I really think I am going to just MOVE home...and work on some things.
I just want to have fun this summer, do what I want, and not have to worry about paying for a lifestyle I don't even need.
I can forsee some great things!!!
:D
I feel like every decision I make is a bad one. I feel like my life is all over the place.
All I seem to do is work anymore...and I need to stop that! Everything's just been crazy.
I moved out. Regretting that big time. See? I make these spur of the moment decisions about things. I need to chill out and just let them simmer in my head for awhile. I'm working on that.
Dustin has made me feel a GAZILLION times better about stuff tho. We talked about us and where all that's going and I was really happy with the outcome. I mean, he pointed out some things that I need to do for myself...and I really do. I need to get out more, meet new people, do more things. I want to be able to have something to do all the time...I feel like all of my free time is spent working...because I don't really know what else to do with myself. That sounds really sad and pathetic but it's kinda true.
The talk that we had really helped me with a lot. I've just felt so lost for awhile now because I had no idea what was going on in his head, especially since we haven't really spent a lot of time together lately. I'm just really happy that we sorted stuff out and I'm soo happy that he really made it clear that he wants to be with me. Our relationship is so easy, and there's not really ever any drama. "If it ain't easy, get the fuck out!" :P
I just would really love to do more things with him. It seems all we ever do is hang out in the PM and watch movies. Not that there's anything wrong with that, <3 watching movies with Dustin, but I want to explore and go on adventures with him! Ok so maybe that sounded a lil queer but it's true! We always tell each other about what we did during the day but we never do any of that stuff together and it makes me a lil =[
I'm just really happy that we have maintained such a relationship for so long. I mean, a lot of crazy stuff has gone down in the past 6 months but I can honestly say that I am just as crazy about this kid as I was the day we first really hung out. Movie and just talking til 5AM...I stood no chance ;]
God I feel so much better just after this blog.
I really think I am going to just MOVE home...and work on some things.
I just want to have fun this summer, do what I want, and not have to worry about paying for a lifestyle I don't even need.
I can forsee some great things!!!
:D
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)